The time has come: your best friend is getting married and has decided to include you among her bridesmaids to help her manage what will probably be the most special day of her life. It's great, any woman who has a friend she adores has the desire to be able to accompany and advise her on her wedding. Now, is everything as simple as it seems and being a bridesmaid is just about being by the bride's side as she gets ready, walks down the aisle and prepares her for the most memorable bachelorette party ever? We regret to inform you that it is not.
Being a bridesmaid is quite a challenge and many are those who are overwhelmed by the situation and would prefer to be just another guest at the wedding so they don't have to deal with so much responsibility. But don't worry, because if you are in this situation or suspect that soon your friend will announce the news, we have the definitive guide with which you can solve any problem and get out of all the challenges you will face before the big day.
Yes, being a bridesmaid is complicated, but it doesn't have to be unpleasant. The important thing is to know how to act in every situation and above all, never forget that the main goal of any bridesmaid (regardless of your personal preferences) will always be the same: to make the bride happy and have an unforgettable bachelorette party and wedding with our help. If you remember that, everything else will go smoothly and no task will seem too long or too difficult because in your head will always be the main goal you are doing it for.
Now, do you know how many things a bridesmaid actually does before the wedding day? Many, believe me there are more than what they show us in the movies. Not only do you have to be an inseparable companion to the bride followed by a legion of women dressed exactly alike and with impeccable taste, no. There are also other "less glamorous" aspects that a bridesmaid will have to assume and that surely will not be as appealing as trying on dresses or helping the bride with her hair: helping in the selection of the wedding dress, calculating the total budget for the wedding favors, the bride's trousseau, calculating the price of the bridesmaids' dresses and headdresses, organizing the entire bachelorette party, etc.
Undoubtedly, being a bridesmaid in these times is a challenge and we do not want to leave you alone to face it. Therefore, we are going to give you ten key tips that any bridesmaid should keep in mind so that when her time comes and she becomes the best support of the bride, no wedding issue becomes a problem and ends up ruining the beautiful experience of being the bridesmaid of someone you love.
Want to know all the secrets to being a successful bridesmaid?
10 tips and etiquette for the bridesmaid before the wedding: essential guide to become the best bridesmaid
1.The bride always has the last word
This advice may seem counterproductive, especially after explaining that the bride's main bridesmaid has a crucial role in the organization of the events that accompany a wedding, but the truth is that as important as bridesmaids can be, they will always be secondary: the bride is the protagonist and therefore, the one who will always have the last word on the decisions to be taken.
The choice of the bridesmaid dress, the choice of their wedding dress, their headdress, their trousseau, the flowers for the ceremony and for the banquet, even the list of wedding gifts are decisions in which a bridesmaid can participate, but never decide. Remembering this is important to prevent your personal interests and preferences from interfering with those of the bride, as this could not only turn the preparations into a quarrel between the two of you, but also put your friendship at risk.
If you are her maid of honor, it is because you are her friend, the person she trusts and wants to have by her side in the organization of a very important day in her life. Therefore, become her loyal assistant, give her ideas, help her find solutions but never try to manipulate her decisions or impose your ideas. The bride is always the one who will have the last word in a wedding.
2. Control the finances
When you are assigned the role of maid of honor you will have to get used to the idea that you will not only be in charge of advising your friend on her dress choices and the colors she will want to wear for you and the rest of the bridesmaids, but you will also have to manage multiple expenses. The main expense you will have to assume as a bridesmaid will be the organization of the bachelorette party, the most important event for the bridesmaids and that you will have to consider from a realistic financial point of view in order not to have cash flow problems after the wedding.
To be honest, bachelorette parties, bridesmaids dresses and wedding gifts are never cheap, so it wouldn't hurt to talk to the other bridesmaids and the bride about the different options and budgets for all of these aspects. The bride is your friend, so don't hesitate for a moment to discuss the bridesmaids' general economic situation with her so that you can create a bridal budget that no one feels uncomfortable with. Like shopping on the Cicinia for an affordable dress. In the end, being a bridesmaid also has to have some advantages, and slightly influencing the choice of a more economical budget for your own benefit is one of them.
3. Maximum availability
A bridesmaid is always expected to be available to attend with the bride the most important events that take place before the big day: dress fittings, organization of the rehearsal dinner, the bachelorette party, etc. Therefore, if you have been assigned the role of maid of honor and you have a tight schedule, we recommend that you start looking for gaps to be always available for your friend and be able to go quickly to any emergency. She will be very grateful, as a bride tends to lose her temper easily and feel overwhelmed by the situation. Be her unconditional support and you will be an excellent bridesmaid.
4. Learn to work as a team
One of the trickiest aspects of becoming your friend's maid of honor is that not only will you have to work with her, you will also have to collaborate with other people who will be in charge of organizing other aspects of the wedding and you will have to become a team so that everything goes smoothly. This means that many times you will have to work side by side with someone you don't know, or worse, don't like. But you don't have to lose sight of your main goal: to make the wedding a success.
So don't forget that everything you are doing is for your friend, for her wedding and for her happiness on such an important day. Put your personal disputes aside and try to work as a team for the greater good.
5. Follow the bride's instructions
Responsibility, availability and cooperation are always expected from the maid of honor. What do we mean by this? Well, as a bridesmaid you will often have to put aside your personal preferences and sacrifice yourself for the bride. If the bride needs you to go running to touch up her hair and makeup or ask you to go with her to a meeting with suppliers in the middle of the weekend, you will have to do it. And not because you are a bridesmaid, but because it is your friend who is getting married and needs you by her side.
6. Organize the bachelorette party and bachelor party
One of the main tasks of a maid of honor, if not the main one and why we all think that this position was invented at a wedding, is the organization of bachelor parties: both the bride's and the groom's. In many places it is thought that the bachelorette party is the most important one. In many places it is thought that the groom's bachelor party is a task of the best man he has chosen, but the truth is that the maid of honor is also usually in charge of it, making her job much more complicated.
Be prepared to spend a lot more time stressing than usual and having to talk about and manage all sorts of things in record time, because bachelorette parties are anything but simple. Of course, you will have to draw up a plan of action together with the bride and the rest of the bridesmaids, but once everything is approved, most of the work will fall on your shoulders: choosing the place, the budget of the venue and the activities you are going to hire, taking into account the tastes of the bride, the drinks, the clothes you will wear all that night, etc.. And the same for the groom.
7. Become her best supporter
Brides have always been known for being overly sensitive in the months leading up to the wedding day, easily excited by every little detail and just as quick to get upset when a hiccup arises. Because of this, they will need you more than ever by their side as someone in whom they will always find peace, comfort and solutions. Become their best support before the wedding, they will always thank you for it.
8. Understand your responsibilities and be prepared to carry them out correctly
A bridesmaid has a long list of responsibilities that she will have to carry out before and during the wedding day. Of course, not all tasks will fall on a single bridesmaid, it is usual for the chief bridesmaid to organize the rest of the bridesmaids so that each one has a very specific task to carry out while she carries out hers without any problems.
However, this will not diminish the responsibility you have as a bridesmaid, nor will it mean that you will have to attend fewer events or meetings: you will be busy, before the wedding and at the wedding. You will have to accompany the bride wherever she asks you to go, listen carefully to her instructions and accept whatever decision she makes, even if it disrupts your plans and all the work you had already done up to that point. Sorry, but that's the way brides are. Therefore, understand well what your responsibilities will be and try to perform them to perfection, because the success of most of the pre-wedding events and what happens during the wedding day itself will depend on you.
9. Give her a wedding gift you can afford
No one said being a bridesmaid was easy, or cheap. Brides are aware that when they ask their friends to be their maid of honor for the most important day of their lives, they are also asking them to make a great monetary effort. That is why, when the time comes to give your wedding gift to the bride and groom (who will know perfectly well your situation and will value everything that comes from you, whatever it is) choose something that does not involve a large investment of money.
Look for something special, even something handmade that for them can have a great sentimental value. Being their maid of honor is already a great gift you are giving them, there is no need for the gift to also exceed the limits of their credit card. Think with your heart and you're sure to get it right.
10. Be helpful throughout the wedding and be a guide for everyone
During the wedding day there will be millions of things to do, many things to check: decorations, dresses, the banquet tables, the wedding gifts, the music, the bride being ready on time, etc. All these tasks will depend largely on you and the help you are giving to the bride and groom to prepare everything, but not everything will be there: you will also have to be like a great beacon of light for the guests. Show yourself helpful and friendly throughout the event, no matter how many times you have to repeat the same thing, at a wedding there are many people who will have no idea about anything and you will have to help them.
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